Evolution

I had originally intended to write a completely different post for what was supposed to be last night’s post, but truthfully I’m not crazy about what I was writing so I’m going to save it for another time.

Anyway, when Sir came home from work this morning and woke me up (for a little bit of loving too!), we had a short conversation about this blog. Sir noticed that I’ve been struggling to put out posts on time, and that I’ve been feeling uninspired, and he asked me if I still want to have the blog. I do…. but the thing is, it has been getting harder and harder to come up with things to write about. I feel like I’m often repeating myself, either talking about things that Sir and I have done together, or how amazing Sir is and how lucky I am to have him, or how sometimes submissives can wind up being targeted by predator “doms” (which then leads to a story about how amazing Sir is).

Maybe I’m being too critical of myself. I don’t know. But I feel like I’m repeating the same things over and over again, and that’s something I don’t want to do. And I’m sure that no one wants to read the same things repeatedly either!

One of the things that I told Sir is that I think that my posts were better when I first started writing. I don’t know what happened to that. A lot has changed since I first started writing, for one thing. My schedule is a lot more demanding. And truthfully, we don’t have half as many sessions anymore as we used to have. In fact, Sir has not used our implements on me even once in the last two weeks, maybe even three. Oh, I’ve gotten a couple of spankings, which have both been wonderful, but no use of the crop, floggers, dowels (which I guess are more or less like canes), or paddle. And truth be told, I’ve missed it horribly. And the bondage, and the gag, and the blindfold.

I’m not complaining, though, really (though perhaps I’m hinting to Sir that it’s past time for us to have a nice long impact play session, like the ones we used to have)! All relationships evolve over time, and with all the changes that we’ve faced together, it’s actually amazing that we’re still intact and that I’m still so happy (and I hope he is too!).

We had his daughters for three months, and then had to send them back to their mom because we had to move so far away from their school, and we didn’t want them to have to change schools (because we like the school we sent them to) or be on the bus for 20-30 minutes to get to school. So first we had to adjust to life with two precocious young girls, and then we had to adjust to only having them on weekends, the latter of which, as nuts as they drove me, was actually harder than the former.

We had the move, financial troubles, and more stress than I ever imagined I’d have to face.

I got back into school, and changed jobs, and Sir has also had some changes in that department as well, which has also involved a change in schedules, which I’ve already mentioned more times than I probably should.

I was going to use this blog to talk about how Sir and I got together, and how our relationship has evolved from a bedroom-based D/s relationship, to a 24/7 TPE. But the details that were so fresh in my mind when I first started writing have become replaced by the enormous stress we’ve been under and have been dimmed by time. The sessions that were so amazing in the beginning have become more intense, to the point where even though they don’t happen as often as I’d like, I’d say they’re better in a lot of ways. But even so, I don’t want this blog to be just about the amazing sessions. I’m pretty sure people would get tired of reading it, and besides, I’m not big on smut.

So I suppose I’m kind of looking for a new direction. I don’t know what’s going to happen. But maybe come Monday I’ll have a little bit more inspiration, and perhaps some new ideas.

Until then, thanks for reading, and I hope y’all have a good weekend.